There are some things I can’t change, and I feel like I can accept that pretty easily because everything is temporary. It’s all about living in the moment and allowing yourself to feel lost sometimes. I can accept the way I feel and know that I can’t change it immediately. I can allow myself to have fun and be happy in every moment that I can.
In all honesty, knowing exactly who I am is difficult. I’ve only been alive for 16 years. I remember about 13 years of those 16, and have been asleep for about 35,124 hours of my life! I don’t think I’ve experienced enough of the world yet to truly know who I am, and even if I did, why get acquainted with her?
I still have my whole life to live and I’m positive that ten years from now I am going to be a completely different person. Then again, with that kind of mentality, I don’t know if I will ever truly know who I am. I definitely don’t think I know who I am at this moment by any means, I just know the way that I let others perceive me.
Now, I am not saying that the way you let others perceive you is necessarily who you are as a person, because I make a conscious effort in everything I do and say. I think that if you have to overthink something as simple as greeting a friend, maybe you’re not really that person you’re trying to portray.
If I truly had any idea who I was, I think that things like that would come a little easier. I don’t think I’d feel embarrassed about the things that I say or the way that I make myself look because I’d know that that is just who I am.
I can’t pinpoint EXACTLY what makes me Adina, but I don’t really think of that as a scary thing. I know that someday I’ll figure it out. I also know that when I do it’s gonna make my life better, so I think of it as an exciting thing. I’m excited to just live, to have new experiences with new people, and really find myself. Most of all, I am excited to learn what it really means to be me.