It’s officially 2019, which means that anyone reading this successfully survived 2018. Congrats, by the way!
So do me a favor, reflect back on your 2018. Let all of the good, the bad, and even the ugly memories from this past year wash over you for just one minute.
Was it the most picture-perfect year of your life?
Did you just barely get through it by the skin on your teeth?
Personally speaking, 2018 was a tremendous year of growth that was overflowing with many influential life lessons. Over the course of the year, I learned that there is no shame in not having all of the answers. I grasped the concept that perfection is BORING, and that it’s our differences, our foibles, and our imperfections that connect us to humanity and make us real. I also learned to understand that good things do not always come easy, and that failure can be a good thing. These were hard hitting and noteworthy lessons that I became cognizant of over the course of 2018.
I won’t share with you the specific story that really opened my eyes to this, however I know that almost everyone can relate to it in some way. Whether it's a teacher, friend, coach, or even family member, we’ve all had to deal with someone that no matter what we do or how hard we try, still manages to bring us down.
This may sound crazy, but now that I reflect back on that experience, I am actually grateful for that person. Without their constant disbelief, judgement, and accusations, I may not have learned this lesson yet.
“In life you will meet two kinds of people, those who build you up, and those who tear you down. But in the end you’ll thank both.” - Unknown.
It was so difficult for me to come to terms with this because I’m a HUGE people pleaser. I tend to put people’s needs before my own, find it hard to say no, and apologize even when I am not in the wrong. Not only was it very unhealthy for me to constantly worry about what that person thought about me, but it was also stressful to live up to their standards. I had to grasp the concept that people pleasing is the perfect recipe for stress, misery, and frustration. I learned this the hard way!
The bad news is that you cannot make people like, understand, love, accept, or even be nice to you. It’s just reality.
The good news is that it doesn’t matter! Odds are that someone who doesn't accept you as is and sets unrealistic expectations is the one with the problem. The problem isn't you. It is indeed them.
Remember ladies and gents, you can’t please them all and that is okay!